I've been having this little problem with my car lately where the damn window doesn't roll up. This isn't really that big of a deal in Vegas because it's the desert and doesn't rain very often, but I ran into a pretty embarrassing situation because of it today.
I was at this volunteer event making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the homeless when I noticed it was starting to rain. I thought, "Oh great" to myself but whatever, I decided I was just going to deal with it later. Then all of a sudden, this woman frantically ran into the house we were in screaming "Who has a red station wagon? Red station wagon!" Now it is embarrassing enough that I drive a 15 year old station wagon, but to have it announced to a roomful of strangers makes it a little worse.
I decided to try to ignore the woman and mournfully accept that my car was filling up with puddles of water when my sandwich partner proclaimed, "Michael, isn't that your car?" As soon as the woman saw me and saw I was on crutches, she misunderstood why I was not fessing up to the car and yelled, "Quick! Give me your keys, I'll roll your window up for you!" There was no avoiding it now so I just mumbled, "Actually the window doesn't roll up on my car. It's pretty ghetto." Everybody started unabashedly laughing at the cripple who drove his mom's ghetto station wagon, but I thought my humiliation would be over and that would be that.
Unfortunately, my sandwich team decided to press the issue and asked what I did when it rained. I didn't want to tell them the real answer, which was that I have an assortment of shower curtains that I keep hidden in my backseat for when it rains. Normally I pin the shower curtains to the window of my car and pretend like the little pellets of rain that penetrate the cracks of the curtain are like droplets coming from a shower head to avoid getting too depressed about how terrible my car situation is. I decided to just lie instead and say how much I loved the rain and how I didn't mind getting wet.
Well, I had to leave early and it was raining pretty hard, so I snuck out of the house to set up my shower curtain windows and pad my seats with shower curtains so I wouldn't get my ass wet. Wouldn't you know it, as I was setting everything up, everyone decided to get into their cars and head off to distribute the sandwiches we were making. It might've been okay if I had used a clear shower curtain, but my decorative side had decided to use a bright purple shower curtain to cover up my window which was almost impossible to miss.
There was really nothing I could do at this point, especially since I had just been caught red handed in my obvious lie of enjoying getting wet in the rain, so I did what any sensible person would do and hopped in my car for a speedy getaway. It is kind of embarrassing speeding away from a group of harmless volunteers in a broken down station wagon with a purple shower curtain hanging out of your window, but at least I managed to help the homeless out at the cost of my very small dignity. How do I get myself in these messes?