The few days leading up to every one of my doctor's visits is a thing of pure joy. I kind of hate my doctor, but I rely on him to make my knee get better, so the only recourse I have against him is to make my feet smell as bad as humanly possible when I see him.
I challenge myself before every doctor's visit to make my feet smell worse than during the previous visit. Sometimes I'll put on up to 10 pairs of socks, run my computer as hot as it can possibly get, and prop my feet up there to get them nice and sweaty. Sometimes I'll wrap my feet in little plastic bags or make cute little aluminum foil boots when I hop into the shower to make sure they remain as stinky as possible and do not even get minorly cleaned by the soapy residue of my shampoo.
Is that a spill on the kitchen floor? No paper towels handy? Don't worry, I'll just sop it up with my feet!
The moment of truth comes when I enter the doctor's office and he's exposed to my brilliant trap. The last time I was in there, I hid all of his rubber gloves during the half hour I was forced to sit in the waiting room to make sure it was as unpleasant as possible for him and he had to actually touch my feet.
Before you go thinking that this is very immature and uncalled for, I should state in my defense that I thoroughly wash my feet and make them as unstinky as possible whenever I see my physical therapist, who I really like.
(Usually they smell anyway)
# posted by Stoops @ 11:25 PM
