Observations

Today my Mom told me I had to go renew her lease with her and be a cosigner so she could have an extra key. Before we walked into the office, she said, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You have to pretend to be [your twin brother] Stephen. Can you forge his signature?"

"What?! No, I can't do that!"

"Oh stop being a baby. Just do it."

I was pretty nervous when we walked into the leasing office, but my Mom made me feel a lot better when she immediately forgot her part of the plan and began introducing me to everyone as Michael. Luckily for us, I think that they had no idea who Michael was or that she even had a twin son, and no one asked any questions, so I'm guessing that they just assumed she was insane.

Here is a verbatim conversation we had with the rentor:

"Ok, now I need Stephen to sign this document on the second X."

"Ok Michael, here you go."

"Mom, don't you mean, Stephen here you go? Boy, you sure are forgetful today!"

"Ohhhh yeah. Here you go, Stephen (smiling really hard and giggling)"

Well... the jig was up once the manager asked for Stephen's driver's license. Luckily, my Mom was cool as a cucumber and handled the situation without making much of a mess.

Mom (Laughing): Actually this is my other son, Michael. Stephen's not here right now.
Manager: You realize this is a legal document? As in, you almost made me do something illegal here.
Mom: Oh what's the big deal? Stop being such a baby!
Manager: Excuse me?
Mom: They're the same person anyway!
Me: It's true, our Mom does think we are one person. She calls me Stephen over 50% of the time.
Mom: See?!

Well, the manager had a different idea about our blatant little violation of the law. She made us redo the entire lease and renegotiate the "legal" way.

When she made me redo all of our paperwork, this time with my forms, I had to give her my real ID. "Is this really you?" she asked me.

"No, we're actually triplets." It looked like her head was about to explode. "I'm just kidding. Well, we were triplets, but I ate the third one in the womb." This is a weird little inside joke my brother made up one day without my knowledge, so I've been continuing it for some odd reason assuming it's funny (He's a very funny guy, so it is probably funny given the right context, which this was clearly not. It might also be his nice way of telling me that I did actually eat the 3rd triplet in the womb).

Anyway, the manager gave me a look of dismay and mumbled something about "This family..."

...And now we have two keys to our apartment!